Friday, April 28, 2006
I am going to pretend that my exam is over.
to pretend that I have everything thought out.
to pretend its for the best.

So i pretend i need some exercise And went for a swim at home alone. The swimming pool (at my place) is the place to see cuties and talk to them. OMG , i am so destinied to meet Cris and Alex today. They have brown ash curls, grey-blueish eyes, long lashes and ultra cute baby fats. =) Alex and Cris so happens to be 20 months old TWINS, like me and yen. We are 20 year old twins though. ahhahha. After swimming laps trying to not get in the way of them, but i still kept getting distracted by their giggles and mere presence. I gave up. I swim over. And try to communicate with them with the "baby talk" i have picked up from experiences. They are so cute cute cute. They gave me one of ther mini kettle and we play the "pour water at self / others" game. *silly grin*

I surprise myself sometimes. This time i am not scared if i will embarressed myself by laying out my thoughts & feelings in the open first. Saying what had not be said yet. .I said what i wanted to say, and i heard a rather flattering response despite what i got to say. And i feel MUCH better in the end because all good.

I realised when u decide to put your heart and pride at risk and have a honest conversation with someone. Your objective was never to hurt. And neither would the other person want to do the same to you. Sharing what i shun initially turns out to be not as dramatic as i thought it will be, and definitely easy after the 1st word is typed. *phew

Now what do I want... ?? This song doesn't tell the exact story but i have questions of my own too. . . Why is it that i can't push aside what we had, and just accept the new barged in one? Why not? Whats their difference? whys its okay with them, but not him? whys its okay thats its him, but not them? ARghhhhh... Yen said i am unfair. But the truth is i am trying to be as fair as possible , though i dun know why i din agree?

Why this time, i wasn't
scared that if i don't agreed, i won't be asked again?




Heres' a really meaningful song by PINK, written by her too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eDJ3cuXKV4&search=dear%20mr%20president
"Dear Mr. President"(feat. Indigo Girls)
Dear Mr. President
Come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly
What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud
How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why

Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
How can you say
No child is left behind
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell
What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing bout hard work
Hard work
Hard workOh

How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would you

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