Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Friends, they have been making their presence felt more and more these days.. when i am stressed up and wanna give up, there will be frans sending cute emotions to me at msn, that crack me up --really! and i will be alright again. When i am stoning and half -living like a zombie, they will be making sure i am alright , smsing whether i am okay? How can i not be , with all these acts of kindness from these people i hold dear to my heart. Then there's this WINNIE, who unexpected and well-timed sms make me grin & wanna hug this gal and thank her for being there. Apparently this gal read my last blog entry, and did something about it. She DID NOT send me a letter. But send me a msg nevertheless , reminding me again how this gal always seem to know what to say & do, & how i am remembered and missed by her.Then her latest blog entry that detailed how our typical day in jc was--- it make me wanna laugh and cry at the same time. THos moments in jc, where after PE , we will be chomping our place at empty classrooms, and just let the ROOM smell !!! =P Frequent accompanied trip to the toilet before classes,during lessons and after lessons!! =) haha, THE toilet was the place to see and be seen,nahhh~~!!
Close friends will tell you , that they feel that they can never be my best friends, or someone very needed in my life. Cos there's alway this obstacle, this real big third party. Well, having a twin that is your best friend that you are so close to, is like a double edge sword. From young, I know that i will never be alone. That i always wil have this friend no matter what. WE had been living, staying together, fighting, sharing jokes and stories, i know / was present in all her embaressing, sweet, sad,, happy moments, for the past 19 years---WE PRACTICALLY LIVE one life. Hence from young , I know i had her. However being so close, sort of make us not being able to be really really close to other people. We never had best friends, we almost always rush home after school especially so in jc. Cos she is in tjc while i am in tpjc, no mutual friends to hand out together with. Our friends still dun understand why we can sms each other everyday in sch, even if we will be seeing each other later at home?!!! Won't we be tired of each other at all?
Friends are a important part of my life, they kinda defined what i am. So i really do treasure this people, and since most of them are in this blog links, i gonna clarfied something NOW.=)
You know i din really care, or realised the seriousness of everything till 2 incident. That time had the worst arguments with yen , she was angry with me and refused to speak to me at all, she hung up the phone. Me, i was hurt and sad and sorry. Basically feeling so damm horrible. I cannot confide in yen , to make me feel better, cos she is angry with me.There i was sitting on the train, strolling down all the names in my handphone. Looking for some one to message, to confide in, and just to share. I din msg any one that night, and i experienced loneliness again that night. That x, i could only console myself that everything's all right. It also make me realise that so much i have missed out.
Another time was when i share my feelings about an almost breaking up 4-gals friendship, with kl whom always make me comfotable to tell how i really feel . I felt that the distance between us are getting increasingly strain and distanced and i wanted out. It was a supposed to be a short walk back to her hall, but we had our longest and one of my most treasured conversation that night. I told her thoughts i had been bottling up and share how i really felt. It was one of the most painful yet reliefing conversation. That we night we cried laugh , and i found how special sharing can be.
And how often had we lose touch with a friend cos we simply no longer shares the same environment, the same routine.. no longer in the same school, no longer in the same cca, no longer working together--- so now i look at these bunch of friends i pick up along the way, from girl guides days, to slacking Jc days, to calling days at the DBS CL ... i meet some really special people and from them i learnt how great its be to be just together~~!!!!
So to people reading this blog, ya, you are a friend i treasure alot.....=) see that list at the right,, =) a short list but yet so full of personalities.... =PPPP
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